Hi Everyone, I'm reposting my poem from Sept. which Claire already responded to. I hope Shannon and Dargie, (& Kasey?) might send a few notes my way. How are we feeling about the monthly format? Do we need to change something? I value this group and hope we can keep it going despite the other commitments we all have. Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuscan
after centuries of raising
things out of rot,
wine and raisins
fraught promises, razed
soil and more work
what rage was wrought
of these sought promises?
to return to the soil
after centuries
what was sought and bought
left to rot
stunned wages--
amidst the wilds and thistles
of the Tuscan hills
epistles whose lines are written still
while the very ground unwinding
by the windmill
and still and still
that with each drop, we shall return to the soil
amended
after centuries of raising
things out of rot,
wine and raisins
fraught promises, razed
soil and more work
what rage was wrought
of these sought promises?
to return to the soil
after centuries
what was sought and bought
left to rot
stunned wages--
amidst the wilds and thistles
of the Tuscan hills
epistles whose lines are written still
while the very ground unwinding
by the windmill
and still and still
that with each drop, we shall return to the soil
amended
Hi Vasiliki,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the poem. I read this one as a sort of design of words, where the speaker is fascinated by certain sounds and how they work their way through their meaning(s). I loved the final line and the way "amended" stands alone. It _sounds_ great, a new set of sounds that shows as well as it tells. I struggled to get a narrative here and grasped for Roman history/Italian labor history but wasn't sure I was looking in the right places. I wonder if establishing a simple, literal subject, or subject-verb-object syntax, in one of the sentences might provide a pivot point on which the ambiguity of the rest of the poem might turn.
Hope this helps. Happy new year.