RED DAHLIAS
because their colors called me from the roadside—
dahlias—bright and huge at summer’s height
because their violets and reds yelled my name from galvanized pails
because the faded flag with the black serpent drooped in mid-day heat
because his heirloom tomatoes statuesque sunflowers his gladioli cockscomb early sweet corn
because I did not bite when his talk pivoted from potatoes to politics
because I did not flinch when he spit the name Hillary
You must be one of those Liberals
because had he known I was a Communist he never would have sold me his flowers!
I did not demand my $8 back because I dug instead into his soil-dark eyes furrowed face
so deep were the tubers of his intolerance I did not ask for my money back
because we both knew didn’t we that for those brief moments, beauty bound us.
***
Hi Claire,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the poem! I really, really like this one. It's a lovely balance of impactful and tied in to a larger context, and specific and beautiful in its concrete detail of the moment.
I had a couple suggestions that might help the poem be a little crisper.
I would cut the first line and put the third line in its place:
because their violets and reds yelled my name from galvanized pails [at the roadside]
dahlias—bright and huge at summer’s height
I like roadside and think you could get it in in the first line or elsewhere, but as drafted, the first and third lines seem a little too repetitive.
"Bite" in line 6 threw me off, I think because you'd been talking about veggies, I took it literally at first. Maybe replace with "engage"?
Consider paring the last line to "because for those brief moments, beauty bound us." Love the alliteration in that last line and elsewhere in the poem. Doing more alliteration elsewhere might add structure, Anglo-Saxon style, and highlight your point that sometimes beauty trumps "content."
Stick with this one for sure!
Hi Claire,
ReplyDeleteApologies for this very belated response to your delightful poem. This spring totally got away from me... poetry month was full of commitments, and then I got laryngitis. Grr.
I enjoyed this poem, and I agree with Dargie about replacing the first line with line 3, which I'd underlined on my copy of your poem way back when I first read it. The connection of "red" and "communism" worked for me and made me laugh. I also agree with Dargie about "bite" and might pare down that line, replacing it with your "flinch"-- i.e. -because when his talk pivoted from potatoes to politics I did not flinch / when he spit the name Hillary / You must be one of those Liberals...
I love "dug instead into his soil-dark eyes furrowed" and "tubers of his intolerance (!!) . Just for the details-- midday is one word, and I wondered why you need a period at the very end. Thanks for your patience with me!