Daughter after a Detail
after a detail in Anthony Van Dyck’s James, Seventh Earl of Derby, His Lady and Child
after a detail in Anthony Van Dyck’s James, Seventh Earl of Derby, His Lady and Child
Her plaited hands
her dress is lava
what hardens and is hidden in her lace apron
in lace like ice, frost, flakes
her eyes hold a secret
her pearls are precious,
mouthless teeth ground down to perfection
her mother is satin, is silk, is static, is smooth
a hand for hiding
her own nosegay
the daughter is lava
molten fires form her skirts
or she skirts flaming mire
keeps her head above the fire
her pursed lips will unpurse
in time
Oh, this little girl!! Vasiliki, I googled the painting out of curiosity... so glad I did. I love your reading of the daughter - and how surprising it is given that I'm guessing most people would view her as demure, sweet. The sparking latent energy you see in her is so compelling to me, and the poem is beautifully compressed - it also feels full of energy. The short, mostly unpunctuated lines somehow feel just right. And the lava and fire images = !!!!! The "ice, frost, flakes" in line 4 seem to be pulling in a different direction from the dominant fire/flame, and threw me off a little. I love the pearls as "mouthless teeth ground down to perfection" - such a wonderfully strange uncanny image. I was also a little thrown by "or she skirts flaming mire" and the line following it; I admire the wordplay but can't quite connect with or picture this, and to me the "or" weakens the poem, which has been so forthright and definitive until then. So glad to read this one; thank you!
ReplyDeleteVasiliki, Thanks for sharing this poem, which I also really enjoyed reading. I find myself most drawn to the material aspects of the poem—that is, when the poem describes the physicality of the girl (I also looked this up). I love the description of the girl as “lava,” which seems to capture the dress but also the girl’s strong (yet subdued) presence in the painting. I did wonder a little about the nature of the secret that the girl is holding—not that I needed to know the details of the precise secret, but this seemed to be a place where the poem was offering an alternate narrative to the painting. Yet, I wanted a brief glimpse into the girl’s interiority that was never fully offered. Maybe 2 additional lines might help with this? I also think, if you revise this poem, that it might be helpful to look at line endings. I wasn’t sure why particular lines were long while others were shorter. What if you read the poem aloud and thought about line endings in terms of breath? I did this and couldn’t’ quite read the longer lines in full without needing to take a break. This is more an observation rather than a concrete idea for feedback. Finally, I love the last line but felt like “pursed” and “unpursed” was perhaps too deliberate? I think “her lips will unpurse with time” seems both more straightforward and radiant (in its barebones quality) if this makes sense? Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Kasey and Shannon! Your observations are very helpful :))
ReplyDeleteVasiliki, with ekphrastic poems, I never know whether to "peek" at the artwork or not! I resisted for weeks, until just now, I finally Googled the painting. There is so much that works in this brief poem for me, starting with the great title -- the plaited hands, the suggestions of secrets, the dress like lava, the mother's nosegay. Wonderful details! Your description of the pearls is mind-blowingly original, especially as it relates to the last stanza. I agree 100% with Shannon's suggestion about the last stanza. The unpursing says it all. I also love that you chose to focus on the little girl, sandwiched as she is by an ornate mother and an overpowering black hole of a father! Beautiful work, Vasiliki!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Claire!
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ReplyDeleteVasiliki - thanks for the lovely poem. I love the spookiness of "mouthless teeth," especially, somehow, since you can't actually see the girl's teeth in the painting. I am fascinated by your reading of the girl as lava, especially in juxtaposition to the apparent dutiful formality and adherence to social norms that the painting seems to (at least superficially) depict. I would be interested in more development of the ideas and images in this poem. The impulses in it are fresh and captivating, but I am not sure I have as rich an understanding as I could of where the lave is coming from, what kind of secrets and mires and fires you are imagining. I know this is wet paint, so of course it's not supposed to be done - I guess my suggestion would be to keep going!
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