THE TERRITORY AHEAD
[with
apologies to the copywriters!]
Even without the Call of the Road Shirt, rich lingo
of distant highways woven into its cool-looking crosshair
plaid, you managed to get there. Without a Cut
to the
Chaise Pullover, crafted
of dual-colored, cotton-blend yarns,
wrapped, looped or twisted
into an ultrasoft, buoyantly
textured fabric or, God forbid, the Permanent Vacation
Shirt
(here the copywriter takes the easy way out with multicolor—
why not mango swirled with cabernet?). In the right mood, you might have
pulled off the Social Animal Shirt with coconut-style buttons, large
tropical leaves. And had you ever mail-ordered the Light
Duty
Canvas Pants, the Anglophile in you would have specified
them in British Khaki, saved the trousers for your next visit to Tante
Canvas Pants, the Anglophile in you would have specified
them in British Khaki, saved the trousers for your next visit to Tante
Yvette in the “Capital of All Capitals,” for a stroll along
the Thames.
Now that you have travelled to that territory far ahead of
us, I like
to picture you enjoying the Anti-Tribulation Work Shirt,
perhaps
a pair of Big Dippers trunks, soft, amphibious, super light.
The Territory
Ahead has been creating “Exceptional Clothing for Life's Adventures” (for men) since 1989.
Claire, this poem surprised me so much, in the best sort of way. It's funny and clever and seemingly light-hearted, until the third-to-the-last line, which swerves so devastatingly. Tears came into my eyes. You phrase "that territory far ahead of us" beautifully - it took me a moment to figure this out - an important moment, because I think that pause in understanding added to my feeling of being deeply moved. And then the poem swerves again in tone - back to some of its former humor, which is now tinged with sorrow - though there's still a lightness about it, which makes the last word of the poem, light, charged with multiple meanings. This is really lovely! A small thing: I might move the italicized line about The Territory Ahead to directly beneath the title; I think that is important information for the reader to have early on, and I struggled a bit with the italicized pieces of description in the poem before I read the end note and "got it." Thank you for this one!
ReplyDeleteHi Claire! This is a wonderfully original poem. What struck me is that the flamboyantly named clothing items would benefit from dropping the capitalization on the actual nouns (shirt, pullover, shirt, shirt, canvas pants, work shirt... I see that the last item is not in caps-'trunks')-- Somehow between the caps and italics, the whole piece is somewhat off-putting to the eye. I agree with Kasey about moving the last explanatory line up beneath the title. (And no apologies!!) I think the phrase 'pulled off' in Line 9 is too confusing, because it so readily suggests the shirt coming off. (Maybe "flaunted your...") Also wondered about 'Tante Yvette' since that made me think Paris, not London. That penultimate line does come out of left field and is so effective... surprisingly moving. Yet, I'm not fond of the word 'trunks'-- maybe there is another more evocative item to call up-- bathers, waders, or something else. I'm not sure. Trunk just sounds harsh to my ear/eye. I enjoyed the challenge of this unique poem.
ReplyDeleteHi Claire, This is a fabulous poem as others have already said above. Such tonal variety and, like Kasey, I laughed! I agree, too, that form might be something to work on. I tried reading this aloud and found myself out of breath! So I'd be curious to see how you'd lineate this by reading it aloud. There are so many wonderful things going on, but they get lost in the lines (especially in the enjamed ones). I don't know why I think tercets might be an interesting form for this poem, maybe? Thanks for sharing this great poem!
ReplyDeleteHi Claire, I love this poem. It made me laugh - we used to get this catalog, and I remember the overblown descriptions - plus I am fascinated by the repurposing of commercial language in a fine arts context and you are rocking that here. You seem to be compelling the question, what if we take language that is bloviating and vapid, almost by definition, and use it to tell a story that is the exact opposite? I am also impressed that you've done it here with such a light touch, i.e. such a subtle nudge that changes everything. I keep rereading the last few words - soft, amphibious, super light - and they just keep getting more resonant. Thank you.
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